Transcription downloaded from https://sermonarchive.gfcbremen.com/sermons/99613/how-to-be-a-godly-husband/. Disclaimer: this is an automatically generated machine transcription - there may be small errors or mistranscriptions. Please refer to the original audio if you are in any doubt. [0:00] 1 Peter 3, verse 1. 1 Peter 3, verse 1. [1:00] You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life so that nothing will hinder your prayers. [1:26] Well, husbands, tonight is your night. If you're a husband, if you're a young man who wants to be a husband someday, then this message is especially for you. [1:42] But in another way, wives, tonight is your night because we're going to be talking about that man of yours and how he needs to love you. So if you're a husband, God's greatest gift after salvation is your wife. [2:01] And your highest calling after glorifying God, and one of the greatest ways that you do glorify God, is by loving and caring for your wife. [2:12] Now, husbands, you have a lot of things to do. You have a lot of things on your hands, very many legitimate things. You're called to work. You're called to train your children. [2:23] You're called to be good churchmen. You're called to serve the body of Christ. But no one should make any mistakes about it, that the number one priority in a husband's life, number one earthly priority, the highest earthly priority, is loving and caring for that wife. [2:41] If you aren't loving and caring for her, then it kind of doesn't matter what else you're doing. If you're not fulfilling your highest priority, you can be sure that all of your lesser priorities are not being done in the way that they need to be done either. [3:00] And if you're not fulfilling this highest priority, however much you think you're glorifying God, you're gravely mistaken. [3:13] In Ephesians, Paul says, husbands, love your wives like Christ loves the church. And in that passage, we're not going to go to it tonight, but it talks about basically that a husband and a wife, a marriage, is a parable. [3:26] It's a story of Christ and the church. It's a picture. And so when Christians have a beautiful marriage, then they are picturing forth a relationship between Christ and his church. [3:41] And so, husbands, if you want to make much of Jesus, if you want to love and glorify Jesus, then this is the best way. [3:51] This is the number one way. It's not the only way, but it is the clearest way that you can do that by loving your wife as Jesus loves his wife. [4:03] And when people see that, they begin to see Jesus. They begin to see what Jesus is like. So how do you love your wife? That's my topic tonight. We're in a series called How To. [4:14] And tonight is How To Love Your Wife. And we're going to see three ways from 1 Peter 3, verse 7. And we're going to see consideration, chivalry, and companionship. [4:29] But before we look at Peter's words in verse 7, you need to see the context. If you look over in your Bibles to chapter 2, verse 12, this verse is a summary of this entire section of 1 Peter. [4:46] And it goes like this. Live such good lives among the pagans that though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us. [4:58] And so from verse 13 in chapter 2 all the way down to chapter 3, verse 7, Peter is talking about how to live good lives among the pagans. [5:09] Well, how do you do that? Well, as Christians, he first says you relate to civil authorities in a certain way. You submit yourself to them for the Lord's sake. [5:22] Then he goes into, well, how do you relate to unbelieving masters? And you relate to them. You're trying to live a good life among the pagans. [5:34] And the way you do that is by submitting to them. So how do we live as Christians in a pagan context? Well, we submit to the proper authorities, civil or economic. [5:46] Then he moves to wives. And he says, wives, in the same way, be submissive to your husbands, so that if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives. [6:00] And then finally, Peter addresses a less common problem. And I think that's why he doesn't spend very much time on it. But the less common problem of husbands with unbelieving wives. [6:14] How do you win those ladies over? How do you behave in a winsome, attractive, loving way that opens the doors, that paves the road to win them to Christ? [6:30] And his answer is verse 7. Now, some of you have unbelieving wives. And some of you, most of you, don't. But his instructions apply, no matter if your wife is a believer or an unbeliever. [6:47] Because being winsome, being attractive, being loving, doing the ultimate spiritual good for your wife, isn't done in a different way if she's a believer or an unbeliever. [7:00] It's done in the same basic categories. The details might be different, but the general instructions are the same. And that's what Peter gives us in verse 7. [7:10] So, Peter, how do we love our wives? Well, he gives us three things. And the first is consideration. You see it there. So, husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives. [7:25] So, how do you love your wife? Be considerate. But notice, it doesn't just say, be considerate. It says, he says, in the same way, be considerate. [7:38] Now, we need to ask, in the same way as what? Why does he include that? What is that? The answer, for the answer, you go back to verse 1. And it says, wives, in the same way, be submissive. [7:52] The wives are to be submissive just like the slaves are. And the slaves are to be submissive just like the Christians are to the civil authorities. And so, submission of various kinds is the linking idea in all this passage. [8:06] And so, for husbands, the way they love and the way they care and are winsome and attractive to unbelievers is no different. But, they, in a certain way, submit to their wives. [8:19] Now, wives are called to submit to their husbands. And so, the kind of submission is different between husbands and wives. But, there is still this common, heartfelt commitment to humility. [8:36] That I'm going to put myself under that person to love, to care for them. And that's what husbands are called to do. Their basic stance towards their wife is one of humility. [8:51] Humility. That I'm going to do this woman good. And that humility then motivates their consideration. So, in the same way, be considerate. And so, what he's saying is, as you submit, the way that husbands do that is by living with their wives in an understanding way. [9:09] And so, let me just say, at the very beginning, that how impossible this is without Jesus Christ helping you. Without a new heart. [9:20] This is just a totally different mindset than what we, husbands, that we live with, that we are born with, that the natural man normally has. [9:32] Husbands, husbands, husbands who aren't Christians, they cannot ultimately humbly serve their wives. And I'm not saying that they can't do serving things, they can't live in consideration. [9:46] But, behind every natural man, at the bottom, if you dig, dig, and dig down to the bottom, what is in natural man is pride and self-service. [9:57] And so, however their consideration might look, if you were to dig deep enough, you would find some selfish motives. But true submission, heartfelt, unhypocritical submission, is possible and is only possible when Jesus, by the Spirit, has been born into us. [10:17] When we've been born again into Christ's image. And so, the Holy Spirit changes our position. It changes our hearts. It changes us from a fundamentally selfish, self-seeking person to a humble, serving person. [10:34] So, when the gospel hits home, when that arrow goes into your heart, and when Jesus is living and active in a person, now his thoughts are changed. [10:46] Things are different. And so, husbands, if you're struggling to lovingly serve your wife, to put yourself under her for her good, well, don't, you can't look to yourself. [11:01] There's no innate resources there for you to draw on. You have to look to Jesus. You have to rest and rely on him, and you have to start waiting on him. [11:12] And there is grace in him. He's won it for us at the cross that we could say no to ourselves and say yes to that self-control that would humbly serve our wife. [11:25] So, that's the basic. How are we going to be attractive? We're going to have to start with humility. And the only way humility is possible is to be born again. [11:37] You can't fake being humble. Well, you can, but you can't do it. So, let's talk about what it means to be considerate. Other translations has it as living with them, living with the wife in an understanding way. [11:53] So, God calls husbands to live with their wives in an understanding way. Well, what should we understand, men? What do we need to bring into our calculations? [12:05] As we're relating to our wives, what do we need to have sort of filed away as categories, as things that we are thinking about as we love them? And I think, first of all, that we as husbands, and especially in this context, what would it mean to understand an unbelieving wife? [12:23] But what would it mean to understand any wife? The first thing has to be, you have to understand your wife's sinfulness. Her sinfulness. Do you expect perfection from your wife? [12:38] Do you expect perfection? Or are you surprised when she does sinful, hurtful things to you? Well, you shouldn't be anymore. And I'm not saying be cynical and be dead to her sins, but realize, understand that she's a sinner. [12:57] That she's a sinner. She either is completely under the control of original sin and under that of the flesh, or there's still that remains of indwelling sin, and that's going to be a part of her. [13:11] She is going to sin, and she's going to sin against you. And the only way that you're going to handle that properly, that knowledge properly, and really bring it and understand her sympathetically, is if the gospel of Jesus is flowing in your life. [13:29] If your focus is where it should be, on Jesus and what He's done, then you know, men, you know, you need lots of room for mercy, don't you? [13:42] You need lots of room for repentance and forgiveness that we just sang about, for covering over your sin. And so, you know that every day, you live on the goodness of Jesus Christ. You're not working this out, and God's not so super impressed with your great works righteousness. [13:59] You know that's not how it is. You're a beggar. You need Jesus. And so, where would we be without Jesus, husbands? Where would I be? Well, I know I'd be in chains of despair and guilt, and I know I would be in hell itself a long time ago. [14:17] But every day, Jesus is upholding me, and I'm living on Him. Every day, His wounds are crying out for my forgiveness, for pity for me, for grace for me. [14:29] And I know that without His sacrifice, I would be doomed. So, husbands, do you want to be winsome and attractive to your wives? [14:42] You want to love your wife? Then live with her. And as you live with her, live with the Gospel. Live with the Gospel in you. That's what she needs. [14:55] That's what she needs. That's what she needs from you. That's what you need if you're going to understand her sympathetically. If you don't, you'll be proud, and you'll be unmerciful. [15:05] When she sins, you'll snap, because you've held her up to some sort of standard that she's not going to be able to fulfill. You expect perfection, and you'll hurt her when she doesn't live up to your standard. [15:18] And when you're working hard, and you're earning your way, and she's not, well, then you're going to be upset with her, and it's going to be the opposite of sympathy, and the opposite of consideration. [15:31] And so, brothers, we have to get this from the very beginning. If we want to live with our wives in an understanding way, we have to live with Jesus. We have to be understanding and living in the Gospel. [15:44] And so, think often of your own sinfulness. Think often of God's electing love. Why, I thought about this this week, why wasn't I killed by Navy SEALs last week? [15:58] And why am I here? What's the difference? Well, ultimately, it was just God's grace. It was God's wise, loving providence. [16:10] And so, what makes us to differ? So, think about God. Think about how He brought you to Jesus. And Jesus gave you that gift of repentance, and Christ sacrificed for you. [16:23] And so, if you want to love your wife, then understand that you are a sinner. And so is she. So is she. But this verse, no doubt, goes deeper. [16:35] Peter is calling us to understand her personality. Husbands, you're called to understand your wife. Your wife. Your wife. Understand her. [16:45] And He's calling us to be students of our wives. And so, men, we should be loving our wives better after 10 years than when we first got married. [16:56] And after 20 years, better than 10 years of marriage. Because now we know her better. We understand her. Our love should be growing in wisdom of how we can love her best. [17:09] And so, husbands, let's talk about women. Just for a minute. To understand them better. And you, I'm like really just venturing out on thin ice here. [17:20] And so, I'm asking for a lot of mercy in this next section. You probably have already figured this out already. But men, you relate to life differently than your wife does. You relate differently to life than does your wife. [17:34] And I've often used this in private. And maybe you've already heard something like this elsewhere. But men and women relate to life in general differently. And so, men, this is going to, it's so tacky. [17:49] Men are like waffles. And women are like spaghetti. I'm going somewhere with this. Men, you view life as a series of boxes. [18:02] And they're just only loosely connected to each other. And so, you have the work box. And you have the wife box. And the prayer box. And the sex box. [18:12] And the games. And the romance. And the kids. And the church. And, you know, lots and lots of boxes. And there they are. That's your life. And they're sort of loosely connected. [18:25] But in a lot of ways, they're not connected. And so, that's your life. You think of things as not so related to each other. And that's why when you drive home, right? [18:37] Something happens as you're driving home from work. You move from the work box to the house box. To the home box. To the family box. And then, so your wife comes in and asks, well, what happened at work? [18:48] Or how was work today? And you don't, you're sitting there thinking, nothing. I don't know. And what happened was, on the drive home, you went from one box to another. And now, as you look at that box over there, that work box, it doesn't seem like there's anything relevant to tell your wife. [19:05] They don't have anything to do with each other. And you don't feel like you have this compulsion to tell them all the conversations that you had at work. It's just not a part of how you're thinking. I'm generalizing here, but I think it's mostly true. [19:22] But husbands, we make a big, big mistake when we think that our wives relate to life the exact same way that we do. When we think that that's how they view life, but it's not. [19:34] They relate to life differently than you do. So they aren't like waffles. They're like spaghetti. And their lives are all mixed up. I knew I'd get a laugh there, even though I didn't mean it like that. [19:52] But when you pull up one thing, a lot of other things come up, doesn't it? A lot of other strands are attached. And so you come home from work, and you say, so how were the kids today? [20:08] And she bursts into tears and goes on and on about her kids and her parents and the lack of romance and the grocery budget and the leaky sink. [20:21] And you're seriously like, what is she talking about? What do all these things have to do with each other? She isn't crazy. Life is different for her. [20:33] She relates to it in a very different way than you do. All that stuff is connected to her. And so she relates to it all at the same time. [20:43] And that's why women are generally better multitaskers than men are. We can only think of one thing at a time because that's how we view life. But they can do all these different things at once. [20:54] They're just different. And so my point is, is we need to understand that, men. That our wives view life differently than we do. And we don't need to get it. [21:04] We just, we need to get it. Do you understand what I'm saying? When you, you just need to realize that they're different than you are. And when you do, you're able to love her sympathetically. [21:16] And you're going to understand that you can't fight and roll over and go to sleep. And that's not going to just, that's not going to be okay. She can't go like that. [21:29] She, you're going to have to work hard at resolving the situation and understanding that that situation, that fight, that argument has a lot of implications. And you need to, to make sure that you understand those. [21:42] And so if you understand her, then you're going to realize that a lot of times your, her problems are more complex than your simple solutions. [21:54] And men, we have a tendency to do that. We hear our wives' problem and we have a fix it, a quick fix. And they don't want to hear that because their problem is a little bigger and it's more complex than that. [22:10] So that's sort of understanding your wife in general. But let's talk about understanding your woman in particular, your wife in particular. God calls you to live with her in an understanding way. [22:24] And so you are the pupil and she is the student. And it helps to understand how she receives love best. So we're talking about how to love your wife. [22:35] It's going to help to understand how she receives love best. Gary Chapman wrote a book called The Five Love Languages. And I'm not recommending it or anything. [22:47] I'm just, I haven't read it all. But I think his basic premise is pretty good. And what he says is basically all men and women have a different way of, of, a preferred way of receiving love and giving love. [23:03] That's how, to them, they speak love. It's a preferred means of expressing and receiving love. And he gives five. And you could write these down and talk with your wife about it. [23:13] I think it would help. He gives quality time, work, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. And those are broad categories. [23:26] But I think most people realize that they feel loved when their husband or their wife gives them the kind of language that they're, or that that love comes in the language that they prefer. [23:42] And what I mean is, it's possible to be, from the bottom of your heart, really trying to love your wife and to do it in the wrong way. [23:54] Just because she's not wired that way. And so for all your good intentions of loving her, she's not feeling it at the depth that you're trying to reach her at. [24:05] Because she speaks a different love language than you do. So I was listening to, I was watching a, like a talk that John Piper did on marriage. [24:18] And he talked about how he had to learn about his wife, Noelle. And John Piper loves to write poems. And so for the longest time, he would show his love to his wife by writing these passionate love poems, these beautiful love poems. [24:37] And then he started to understand Noelle better. And he realized that really, yeah, she liked those love poems. [24:49] But that wasn't really the language that she was looking for love to come in. That wasn't her love language. So Noelle was a practical woman. And what she really wanted was for John to fix the door, you know, to paint the door. [25:07] She didn't want another poem. But if he would paint the screen door, she would feel loved. And so brothers, what I'm saying is we can make the same mistake. [25:19] You can come home and if your wife is depressed, and you want to love her. You want to love her. And you want to cheer her up. [25:31] And so you say to yourself, well, I know what I'll do. You know, I'll take out the trash. And I'll mow the lawn. Well, you know, I'll work on some of these things because she likes it when I do these things. [25:42] And so there you do. She likes having a nice yard. And so I'm going to go do that. And so you go about and you go do it. And you come in thinking, all right, she's going to be cheered up now. [25:53] She's going to feel this love that I've been trying to give her. And she doesn't feel any. She's in the same spot. She doesn't. She's no better. [26:04] Well, what happened? What happened? Well, you hit the bullseye, but you hit it on the wrong target. You were right on, but you were completely off. [26:19] What she really wanted was for you just to listen to her or to snuggle her or to run out and go get her some flowers or something. So, men, what does it mean to live with your wives and be considerate as you live with your wives? [26:36] I think one of the ways is to understand the best ways that our wives receive love. What comes clearest to them? If you understand that, if you can figure that out, if you can talk to her about that, then you'll love her better. [26:51] Another thing, understand her fears. What is she afraid of? The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out. [27:03] Her fears might be deep down. And she might be afraid to even say what those fears are. [27:14] She might have a hard time explaining them. But a man of understanding will draw them out. So, if you want to love her, find out what she's afraid of. [27:27] Is it rejection? Is it that you'll get tired of her? Does she feel like she can't live up to her parents? It could be a million things. And it doesn't matter if it's legitimate or illegitimate. [27:41] Fear is fear. And if you want to love her where she's at, seek to understand her. Seek to understand what those fears are. Because love, perfect love, drives out fear. [27:54] And when your love addresses her fears, then you go a long way of taking those fears away. When you know what she's afraid of, and you're loving her in the ways that meet those fears and dispels them. [28:09] Another thing, understand her ministry, her goals, her needs, her dreams. There are certain things that she really wants to accomplish as a wife. There are certain things that she really wants to accomplish as a woman in the church. [28:25] Or a woman in the community. Maybe it's having more hospitality. Maybe it's reading more books with her children. Maybe it's meeting with an older woman or a younger lady. Understand where she wants to go. [28:37] Understand what she wants to do. And when you start helping her to achieve those things, and when you lay down your life in order to see those things come to fruition in her life, then you're going to love her. [28:52] That's how you love her. Well, how do you love your wife? First consideration. The next two are a lot shorter. Next he talks about chivalry. [29:03] That's the middle of verse 7. Treat them with respect as the weaker partner. Treat them with respect as the weaker partner. And this was absolutely revolutionary in Peter's day. [29:16] Wives were property. They bore children. They ran the house. But as a respectable partner? I mean, that was unheard of. No way. [29:27] And so don't ever believe that Christianity has not been good for women. There's a lot of lies out there. All you have to do is see how other religions treat their wives. [29:38] The Western world, even feminism, lives on borrowed Christian capitalism. Because there's no other religion, there's no other worldview out there that allows for men and gives good reasons for men to treat their wives with respect as the weaker partner. [30:00] So treat them with respect. Treat them with respect. Let's think about that. I think Matthew Henry does a good job of laying out what this all entails. And I'm going to just read this quote just one time. [30:14] And you can go look it up on your own. It's online if you want to look at 1 Peter 3 verse 7. He says this, Maintaining her authority. [30:44] Maintain her authority. Let's talk about that one. Men, your wives or your kids should never see you take their side against her. [30:59] If you take their side, you better do it in secret where the kids can't see. Because you and her are a united front. [31:10] You and her are together. And that means what mom says is what you say. And if there's a point for disagreement, you don't do it in front of the children. [31:21] You work it out at a different time. And so you never, ever tolerate your children coming to you for a second opinion on what mom said. [31:36] Even if you disagree with your wife, maintain her authority. Because she's your partner. And that's what it means to respect your partner. That's what it means to honor her. And that's chivalry. [31:48] That's treating her with the honor that's due her. And then Henry said, Treating with respect is protecting her person. It's protecting her person. I don't think I need to say this, but I'm going to say it just in case. [32:01] God has given you men the responsibility of protecting your wife. Protecting her physically. Protecting her spiritually. [32:12] Protecting her emotionally. She might need protected from evil men. And she might need protected from spiritual dangers. And she might need protected from her own family or from your family. [32:23] But it's your job to protect her. You can never be her enemy. When it comes to that. [32:34] It's your job to protect her. You're her white knight. That's what God has given you for. And so that's going to mean sometimes tough phone calls. Or confrontational conversations. [32:48] And that might mean putting your foot down about certain things coming into your house. Or certain people coming into your house. And at the extreme, that might mean dying for her. [32:59] But brother, protect her. That's your job. She's the china. You're the ten cup. And you need to think of it that way. Henry says, giving honor means giving a handsome maintenance. [33:12] A handsome maintenance. And what that means is you provide wealth for her. As well as you can. If it's between you going without and her going without. You go without. [33:26] You go without. Honoring her means providing for her what she needs. And providing a lot of what she wants. Because that's what it means to honor someone. [33:38] And that's submission. That's loving your wife. And submitting your desires to her. Now it says you're to honor her as the weaker partner. And, you know, that's. [33:51] That sort of sounds grating a lot in our modern years. But I think the weakness here is just physical weakness. You honor her by being gentle with her. By not throwing your weight around. [34:04] In fact, because she is physically weaker. You are to bear the heavy loads. You are to carry the heavy loads. You know. She's the show horse. [34:15] You're the work horse. You're doing the heavy lifting. And right now. And that has lots of ramifications. But right now. Our culture is breeding a herd of lazy men. [34:29] Of lazy young men. Who. They live with their parents. Who. All they want to do is play video games. Who don't want to marry wives. They want to marry mothers. Who will just take care of them. [34:40] But it should never be that way. As Christians. That is not how we live in this world. We live differently. So we take care of our wives. [34:51] They don't take care of us. And we protect and carry them. They don't protect and carry us. So dads. Be an example to your sons. Be an example to your sons. [35:03] Talk to your sons. About what it means to carry the burden. To submit yourselves. For the good of your wife. And you notice that submission. Is not obeying her. That's the way a wife submits to a husband. [35:15] But you submit by loving her. By taking the lower place. By carrying the heavy load. By giving her the respect. By protecting her. At the cost of your own self. And that's how you live with your wife. [35:27] Well why do we do it that way? Because that's how Jesus loves the church. That's how Jesus loved the church. She is weaker. [35:38] And so he carries her burdens. He sacrificed himself to provide handsomely for her. And he knows her sins. And he loves her through them. [35:49] And he understands her fears. And he loves them away. And so we love our physically. Weaker partner. Because Jesus loved us that way. [36:01] We needed his help. And he helped us. And then Peter says. You do it because you're heirs. Of the gracious gift. Of life. [36:12] Now a lot of people have. Looked at this verse. And they have thought. That he's talking about eternal life. And if it was in a different context. I think it would be. But the whole context is talking about living with unbelieving spouses. [36:26] About living in a pagan culture. And so these wives aren't heirs of eternal life at this point. But they are heirs of the best gift of this life. [36:40] They're heirs with you of the best gift of this life. And that's marriage. And that's what Peter is saying. God has given you both a gift. A wonderful gift. And it's a marriage together. [36:52] It's a life together. When John MacArthur was talking about this passage. He called marriage the cream on top of life. In many ways marriage makes life so much more livable. [37:03] So much more enjoyable. And so that's our third point. Companionship. We've talked about consideration. Chivalry. Companionship. [37:14] Live together as heirs of a wonderful gift. And marriage is a gracious gift from God. It was not good for man to be alone. [37:27] It wasn't good. And so remember it was God who made it Eve. And it was God who brought Eve to Adam. [37:39] And it was God who did the first marriage ceremony. Marriage was his idea. And it was a good gift from him. And from that point on Adam and Eve always had a friend. [37:50] They had a friend. And you know what? Sin came into this world. And life became a lot, lot harder. But still Adam and Eve enjoyed a long life together. [38:04] It was hard. But their marriage made it better. And so Peter says, Respect your wife. Live with her in an understanding way. As an heir of this wonderful gift of marriage. [38:16] In every marriage there's difficulty. And if you have an unbelieving spouse, There's extreme difficulty. It can be very difficult. But marriage, no matter what, Is a gracious gift from God. [38:28] And it's the best gift that God gives to all men. That he makes way open to all men. And so Peter says, Men, you want to love your wife? Do you want to love her? [38:40] Then look at your marriage as a gift from God. As a gift from God. That woman is hand-picked. From God. [38:52] By God. For you. And after salvation, She is God's best gift to you. And your marriage is God's gift to her, too. [39:03] It's not just a one-way street. Your marriage is God's best gift to her, too. And so you're to live like it. And so be such a present to her, men. Be such a present to her, That she'll say, Oh, God has been so good to me. [39:18] And given me this man. I am so unworthy of this man. He treats me so well. Now, when you love her like that. And when you live with her in an understanding way. [39:29] And when you respect her. Then Peter says, What happens is that you can open up her heart. In some way. To prepare the way for God's goodness to come. You basically, you adorn the truth of the gospel. [39:43] You adorn the truth of the gospel. And when you're doing that. Peter says, Then your prayers won't be hindered. And I think in the context. Peter is clearly talking about prayers for her salvation. [39:54] When you're considerate. When you're chivalrous. When you're living with her as this companion. Then there's nothing standing in the way. [40:08] So to speak. Of God. There's nothing hindering your prayers. There's nothing standing in the way of God answering your prayers. But when you treat her badly. And when you live with her inconsiderately. [40:20] And you view her as a burden. Instead of as a gift. Then your own evil actions. Blind her to God. And your own evil actions. [40:32] So all your praying. Your own evil actions. Hinder your own prayers. Your own evil attitudes. Hold back. God's answer. [40:45] And so if that's the case. If you're living with an unbelieving husband. Then. Or an unbelieving wife. Then pray. Pray. Pray. For your wife's good. [40:56] Pray for her salvation. And love her. And live with her in an understandable way. Be her knight in shining armor. And treat her as a present from God. And if you do that. And if you love her like that. [41:08] Then you're going to do her the greatest good. You're going to be paving the road. For her to see the truth of the gospel. She's going to have all sorts of light. And by God's grace. [41:19] It could lead to her salvation. Now brothers. If you have a believing wife. How much more. Should you love her? How much more should you love her? [41:30] And care for her? And understand her? Jesus gave his life for her. Jesus gave his own life for her. And God the Father. Has adopted her. [41:43] Man that should. Put a little fear. In us. We're living with one of God's princesses. One of God's daughters. And so we love her. [41:57] And we love her with all of our might. And when you do. Everyone will begin to see a faint glimmer. Of Jesus glory. Of what it means for Christ to love the church. [42:08] And it adorns the gospel. Thankfully Jesus does love his bride. And someday he's coming back for us. And it will be a glorious day. And on that day. [42:20] Jesus says marriage will be over. The picture will be done. Because the reality will have come. Well let's pray. Our heavenly father. I do pray. That you would help us husbands. [42:32] To love our wives. To serve them. To submit to them. In a way that is proper for us. Help us to. [42:43] Love them like Jesus. Loves the church. And the only way that we're going to do that is. If the gospel is. Powerfully. Vivid. [42:55] In our own minds. In our own hearts. And so. Holy Spirit. That is my prayer. For every husband here. Every young man who's seeking marriage here. [43:06] That Jesus Christ himself. And his sacrifice. His life. His love. Would become precious to us. And. So that we would be able to love our wives. [43:18] In a way that honors. Him. In a way that adorns the gospel. Please may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may may to love and to keep us. [43:57] In Jesus' name I pray, amen.