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[0:00] I have a question for you. You can show your answer with a raise of hands. How many of you would like to witness better?

[0:16] ! All but a few. Apparently those people are deceived or better witnesses than I am. What keeps you from witnessing?

[0:27] That's the answer for you. Fear of man. How many of you would agree that the fear of man keeps you from witnessing like you would like?

[0:40] All of you? Most of you, again? Well, if you have a fear of man problem or a people-pleasing problem, then we do have a lesson, a series that will be very helpful to you.

[0:54] We're going to be studying pleasing people, how not to be an approval junkie by Lou Priolo. And from now on, there should be a sign on the door that says, warning, under conviction.

[1:11] We are going to be hunting the deadly sin of people-pleasing through our hearts. And it's buried deep down in there.

[1:22] We wear it close to us. It's a very elusive sin. And so we're going to have to dig deep if we're going to expose it to the light of God's word.

[1:33] The title of this first chapter is Characteristics of the People-Pleaser. Characteristics of the People-Pleaser. But before we get to the characteristics of the People-Pleaser, we do have a few opening comments.

[1:48] People-pleasing is a sin. And it's not a psychological problem. It's not an illness. Some psychologists call it codependency.

[2:01] How many of you have heard that term, codependency? Maybe you know what it means. Maybe you don't. One group defined it this way. Codependent personality disorder is a dysfunctional relationship with a self characterized by living through or for another, attempts to control others, blaming others, a sense of victimization, attempts to fix others, and an intense anxiety around intimacy.

[2:29] And then it adds, most chemical dependency treatment centers now also offer treatment for codependency. I have no intention of putting my foot into the debate between modern psychology and biblical counseling or the use or non-use of medication.

[2:46] If you want to talk to me about that later, I'll be glad to. But what modern psychology calls codependency, the Bible calls sin. And in the most general terms, it's idolatry.

[3:00] And the Bible makes it clear why people act this way. John 12, 43 says, For they loved praise from men more than praise from God.

[3:13] The Bible classifies it as idolatry and sin. And that's good news. That's good news, believe it or not. Because if we're dealing with some sort of incurable problem that we can't take care of, then we're in trouble.

[3:28] But it is only sin. And I say that not to belittle sin, but we do have a God and a gospel that is greater than all of our sin.

[3:40] We are going to be beating you up a lot in the next few weeks. The whole first half of this book is an exploration of the problem that we have with pleasing people.

[3:52] And so, hopefully, Lord willing, you will be under conviction. Your teachers, I assure you, will be under conviction. And so you need to know right away, from the very beginning, that you need to be preaching the gospel to yourself.

[4:09] If you are a child of God, Jesus has taken all of your man-pleasing and all of your fear of man on Himself. And He took it to the cursed cross, and the wrath of God for you was drained away there.

[4:28] And so you are now justified in God's sight. You are right with Him. Your sins have been forgiven. And so, as this sin is exposed in your life, you need to keep preaching the gospel to yourself, to encourage yourself, to keep yourself from failing and flagging as we go through this study.

[4:50] The teachers are going to try to bring the gospel in as much as possible, but you still need to take the responsibility to preach the gospel to yourself. If you have, Priola lists ten characteristics of a people-pleaser or an approval junkie.

[5:08] And I might have been able to compact them, make them into five or six or seven points, but I think that would really blur the problem, and I probably couldn't compact them in a really good way.

[5:20] So we're going to have to move rather quickly if we're going to get to all ten characteristics. So, without any further ado, here are the ten characteristics of a people-pleaser.

[5:33] Characteristic one. The people-pleaser fears the displeasure of man more than the displeasure of God. Fear can be a good thing.

[5:44] Remember Amazing Grace. It was grace that brought my heart to fear. Fear was a good thing when it shook us out of our sin.

[5:54] It moved us away from sin and to God. But fear can also be a dangerous thing when we're afraid of the wrong things. Proverbs 29 and 25 says, The fear of man brings a snare.

[6:10] The fear of man brings a snare. A snare is used to catch something and kill it. And the fear of man will catch our souls and kill us if we are not careful.

[6:22] Proverbs 29 and 25 says, The people-pleaser an approval junkie. Do you know what is a junkie? Why did he choose that word? It's an addict of some kind, isn't it?

[6:35] Usually we're talking about a drug addict. But it's an addict of some kind. An addict is a slave of something. Usually drugs. A slave is in bondage.

[6:48] And fear drives all slaves. They're afraid of their masters and so that is why they remain enslaved. And fear drives the approval junkie.

[7:00] Turn with me in your Bibles to John chapter 12. I've already quoted part of this passage. John chapter 12 and verse 42. John chapter 12, 42.

[7:17] Follow along with me as I read. Yet, at the same time, many, even among the leaders, believed in him.

[7:28] Speaking of Jesus. But because of the Pharisees, they would not confess their faith for fear that they would be put out of the synagogue. For they loved praise from men more than praise from God.

[7:41] So the leaders had a fear issue. And it seems like leaders never change. Politicians are the ultimate approval junkies. And the leaders saw from the day's polls that Jesus was unpopular with a certain part of their constituency.

[8:00] It's the Pharisees. And so they're afraid of the Pharisees. And so they would never confess their faith in Jesus because they were afraid that the Pharisees would kick them out of the synagogue.

[8:14] Fear was behind their silence. And fear drove them to bend over backwards to please the Pharisees, to accommodate them.

[8:25] They wanted to keep the Pharisees on their side. And so they were silent about Jesus. So whenever you see a fear of man, you see also a desire to please man, to make them happy.

[8:39] And so why don't you witness at work? Why don't you confess at work? Isn't it fear? Isn't it that you're afraid of what they're going to say?

[8:53] Isn't it a desire to make those men happy with you? You're afraid of what they'll say to your face. You're afraid of the squinting of the eyes and the strange looks.

[9:04] You don't want to feel the whispers behind your back of what they're saying about you. And so fear gags your Christian testimony. Listen to our author at this point.

[9:17] When a people pleaser interacts with others, his thoughts immediately and instinctively run in the direction of selfishness, anxiety, and fear.

[9:29] That's the end of the quote. He gives some examples of how an approval junkie thinks. And you should ask yourself, do I think this way when I'm around other people? Quote, I'm not prepared to meet this person.

[9:43] What does he think about me? I'll probably make a fool of myself. I can't reveal too much of who I am or he won't like me and he'll reject me.

[9:55] I have to get away from this person as quickly as possible. I have to be careful not to say anything that might get me into trouble or get me into a conflict.

[10:07] And if that's the way that you think on a continual basis, if it's fear, you're afraid of what the person will think of you, you're afraid of becoming embroiled in a conflict, then you certainly have a fear of man issue.

[10:22] You're more afraid of man than you are of God. And if you would rather make men happy by disobedience than obeying God and making God happy, then you are an approval junkie.

[10:34] You're a slave to approval. Characteristic number two is the other side of the coin. All idolatry has two sides. It's fear and love.

[10:48] And so we talked about the fear side. Now it's time for the love side. A people pleaser desires the praise of men more than the praise of God. That's what they love.

[10:59] The praise of men more than the praise of God. If I were to take a survey in this room and ask you the question, who do you love more? God or man? I'm sure if I were to have a show of hands, 99.9% of you would say, I love God more than I love man.

[11:17] Just look at what I do for Him. My whole life is wrapped up in my faith. The reason I'm alive is because of God.

[11:29] I mean, I go to church. I have the fish on my car. Everyone knows that I'm a Christian. I read my Bible every day. Of course, I love God more than man.

[11:40] But what would be revealing would be if we were to have a whole classroom of Pharisees and I were to ask them, who do you love more, God or man?

[11:52] And what would the Pharisees say? I, of course, love God more than man. Look at what I do for Him. My whole life is wrapped up in my faith. I fast twice a week and I give a tenth of all I have.

[12:06] Of course I love God more than man. We should never think that the approval junkie is a non-religious person. The Pharisees were obviously very religious.

[12:20] An approval junkie is sometimes the most outgoing person in their faith. It's not always that they're afraid to tell others about Jesus. It's why they're doing all the things that they're doing.

[12:33] Matthew 23, 5-7 Talking about the Pharisees. Everything they do is done for man to see. They make their phylacteries wide and their tassels on their garments long.

[12:48] They love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogue. They love to be greeted in the streets and have men call them rabbi.

[12:59] Why? Why were they doing the things that they were doing? It was for men to see. A people pleaser doesn't ask what does God think about this activity?

[13:12] He doesn't think what does God think about me going to church or what does God think about me teaching Sunday school or something like that. What will God gain from this? But what will I gain from this?

[13:24] He doesn't ask what God thinks. He asks what man thinks. What the person over there thinks about what I'm doing. The people pleasing teacher doesn't ask do these words edify and encourage the hearers?

[13:38] Or do these words make me look good and sound good? And so when I leave here and someone comes up to me and says Jason, thank you. That was a good lesson.

[13:49] Now I can either turn that and say oh they like me. They like me and start printing my feathers and think oh I'm so glad that I'm a teacher because I get this praise.

[14:03] Or I could say thank you God for coming and blessing that person. And the only difference between how I take that thank you good lesson is if I'm an approval junkie or not.

[14:17] If when you do something good that is seen by others and you're praised for it what do you do with that? What do you do with that praise?

[14:28] Do you say thank you and turn it back to God and give Him the glory? Or do you say thank you and turn it right back to yourself and give yourself the glory? The approval junkie loves man's praise.

[14:42] He lives for it. He eats it up. But he cares very little for what God thinks He's doing. They're totally different mindsets. Characteristic three is that a people pleaser studies what it takes to please man as much as if not more than what it takes to please God.

[15:05] I'll repeat that. Characteristic three is that a people pleaser studies what it takes to please man as much if not more than what it takes to please God.

[15:19] So this naturally flows from our previous point. If you love the praise of man you're going to study what it takes to make men happy. The people pleaser is always looking at people.

[15:33] He's always evaluating people what they're thinking of him. And he usually reads into their expressions a lot more than what they contain. He's way too sensitive about how people act towards him.

[15:49] Remember when you were in high school. Some of you that's a long time some of you not. Remember when you were in high school and you might have had a crush on someone and you liked that person. Can you remember how you always and constantly were looking to see what they thought about you?

[16:04] You're walking down the school and oh she looked at me. She likes me. Oh I'm so happy. Or oh no. She totally ignored me.

[16:15] She hates my guts. I don't know. And of course the girl probably or the guy probably had no idea that you even liked him or he's just minding his own business. The people pleaser though always has the radar up and it's picking up every little detail about what makes a person happy and so that he can do those things.

[16:36] And it's all because there's an inordinate desire to please others. Of course there's a legitimate study of people and how to serve them that has love as its basis.

[16:51] Not every research into how to make people happy is motivated by a fear or a people pleasing attitude. But the junkies research is all based on something selfish.

[17:07] It's all about finding out how to make that person happy so they like me. But all true love is absent. So when it comes down to it we're talking about pride.

[17:19] We're talking about how I can get others to think well of me and so I'm exalted. So my ego is fed. So it's all about manipulating others.

[17:35] Let's move to characteristic four. It has a lot to do with manipulation. Characteristic four is this. The people pleaser's speech is designed to entice and flatter others into thinking well of him.

[17:53] The people pleaser's speech is designed to entice and flatter others into thinking well of him. The junkie is a hypocrite. He wears a mask. He wears a mask and he's always hiding his true intentions and his true self and we see pride at work again.

[18:12] He doesn't want anyone to think less of him in any way and so the way he talks and the way he acts and what he hides from others is all based on trying to make himself look good.

[18:25] so he'll use manipulative language to hide his flaws and fish for compliments. So he's trying to get someone to say something good about him because he loves the approval of others.

[18:40] The Bible makes a direct connection between flattery and people pleasing. There's a direct connection. Paul had enemies in Thessalonica and these enemies were saying, oh, Paul doesn't really love you, he's just saying these things about you so that you love him and support him and give him money.

[19:04] He's just like all those other sophists, all those other speakers that are just trying to turn a dollar. And Paul answers this criticism in 1 Thessalonians 2. You don't have to turn there.

[19:15] 2, 4 through 6. On the contrary, Paul says, so we have the criticism, and Paul says, on the contrary, we speak as men approved by God.

[19:27] Do you see Paul's frame of reference? It's not the approval of man, it's the approval of God that he cares about. We speak as men approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel.

[19:38] We are not trying to please men, but God who tests our hearts. You know we never use flattery. And we did not put on a mask, we didn't act like hypocrites, to cover up greed.

[19:53] God is our witness. We were not looking for praise from men, not from you or anyone else. Flattery and hypocrisy, that's what his enemies were accusing him of.

[20:07] And flattery and hypocrisy is the native tongue of the approval junkie. And when he speaks, that's how he speaks. He's always afraid, afraid of being found out.

[20:18] And so he hides behind his clever speech. He hides behind his clever speech. Priola gives some characteristics of this clever speech.

[20:30] And ask yourself, do you communicate like this when you're having dealings with people on a daily basis? You're at work, you're at home. Is this the way you communicate?

[20:43] The people pleaser, rarely confronts sin in the life of another believer. Rarely challenges or even questions the opinions of others.

[20:59] He prematurely terminates conflicts, usually by yielding. So he doesn't want any conflicts. He yields or withdraws or changes the subject.

[21:09] people pleaser rarely reveals to others the truth about who he really is inside, especially his struggles with sin. The people pleaser never has any problems with sin.

[21:23] He fishes for compliments. He frequently puts himself down trying to get other people to disagree with him. Do you know anyone like that? He's always putting himself down.

[21:34] So you have to say, oh, you're not that way. And of course that's what he wants. He wants you to say something nice about you. Finds clever ways to subtly introduce his accomplishments into the conversation.

[21:48] He's always looking, always slyly putting in something that he's done into a conversation. If that sounds like you, then you're a people pleaser. You're an approval junkie.

[22:00] You're addicted to what men think about you. Characteristic five. A people pleaser is a respecter of persons. As a respecter of persons.

[22:14] The approval junkie treats people differently depending on who they are. And the reason he does it is to gain some advantage for himself. He's treating people differently for selfish reasons.

[22:28] To make others like him. And he wants the praise of men more than the praise of God. James confronted this favoritism in his epistle. You can turn to James chapter 2.

[22:46] James chapter 2. James 2. James chapter 2, 1-4.

[23:00] 1-4.

[23:30] It's evil that drives this motivation to show favoritism.

[23:41] And so here it's favoritism towards the rich. There was a desire to please the rich and so they showed favoritism. But it's not only the rich that showed favoritism.

[23:52] Sometimes it can even be the poor or anyone to please, to reap praise for yourself. In this passage, the people pleasers were trying to get the rich to like them.

[24:06] And so they despised the poor. But the people pleaser is not particular about who he shows favoritism to. He'll show favoritism to the rich, to the super intelligent, to the person with lots of degrees, to the person with a good job, to the famous, to the powerful, to all those people they'll show favoritism to.

[24:29] The junkie loves that characteristic about a person more than he loves God. And so he'll bend over backwards to make the person happy.

[24:40] He wants to be liked more than he wants to be just, more than he wants to serve in love. So he'll even use the poor to find an advantage for himself.

[24:54] If when he sees that people look favorably upon someone who shows favoritism to the poor, he'll show favoritism to the poor just to have the praise of men.

[25:06] So, oh, look, look what they said when that person gave to United Way. I'm going to give to United Way too. They'll feed on anyone, the rich, the poor, the rich, the famous, anyone, in order to satisfy their pride.

[25:22] Characteristic six of an approval junkie. Let me ask you a question. How do you think an approval junkie will take rebuke or correction?

[25:36] Anyone? Linda's shaking her head no. I mean, how do you think he'll take it? Mike?

[25:47] Personally, probably could collect it or excuse it. Okay, that's good. Do you think he'll handle it well at all? Dale? To be an approval of the other person, there's a false familiar.

[26:02] Okay, that's good. Yeah, that's true. On the whole, he's not going to take care of the problem biblically, is he? He's going to do all sorts of things and he'll respond in all sorts of ways, but none of them biblical.

[26:18] biblical. And so let me ask you, how did you respond last time you were rebuked by a fellow believer? Did you become angry or did you withdraw within yourself and start fuming and thinking, how dare that person say something like that to me?

[26:33] And you become bitter and you begin to pout. A people pleaser is extremely sensitive to rebuke. Priola says that he feels a pen prick, like it's a stab in the back, like a knife in the back.

[26:48] He can't stand the idea that anyone would think less of him in any way, would think that there's something wrong with him in any way. And so you see pride at work.

[27:00] Pride's always back there motivating this. Do you see how idolatry is the foundation of this sin? He would rather have disobedience and sin and the praise of man than deal with his sin in a biblical way.

[27:17] And of course, the people pleaser can't pout and fume and complain and whine for too long because that starts to work against him. No one likes a complainer.

[27:28] No one likes a pouter. So he'll quit pouting at some point and then he'll start up the cover up process. He'll pretend like he's dealing with a problem, but in reality he's just hiding it, keeping it out of sight.

[27:41] He doesn't deal with it biblically through confession. What does Proverbs 28 13 say about the man who conceals his sin? He who conceals his sin will not prosper.

[27:55] Will not prosper. But whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy. The people pleaser is trapped in his sin.

[28:06] He loves his sin no matter what it is, and so he'll hide it. He can't find mercy. He can't find grace because he refuses to confess that he's done anything wrong.

[28:19] He's enslaved to his sin and would rather die in it than just deal with it. So what do you do with your sin when someone rebukes you?

[28:29] Do you hide it? Do you say, oh, that's not a problem, and then you make sure from that point on that that person never sees you acting that way ever again? Do you refuse to acknowledge it?

[28:40] You find some excuse for it. Or do you take it to the fountain of Calvary? Do you pray, oh my God, what that person said is true.

[28:52] Have mercy on me for Jesus' sake. Cleanse me with hyssop and I will be clean. And through confession, we find mercy. And through concealing our sin and hiding our sin from God and from others, we will not prosper.

[29:09] Characteristic six is that people-pleasers, and this is the last one, is oversensitive to rebuke or any other allusion to disapproval.

[29:21] Characteristic seven, the approval junkie renders eye service to man rather than inwardly rendering sincere ministry to the Lord.

[29:32] He renders eye service to man rather than inwardly rendering sincere ministry to the Lord. Listen to Ephesians chapter six, five through seven.

[29:44] Slaves, be obedient to those who care, who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in the sincerity of your heart, as to Christ, not by way of eye service as men pleasers, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, with good will, render service as to the Lord and not to men.

[30:09] Paul contrasts eye service with sincere, heartfelt obedience. And we all know that pressure to perform better when the boss is around, don't we?

[30:20] The boss comes in, maybe he's one or two ranks higher than we are, and we feel this pressure, I have to do better, I have to work faster, I have to do more.

[30:32] And why do we act that way? Why do we do that? Well, isn't it partly a desire to please that man? We're more concerned about what he thinks than what God thinks, and our motivation is all wrong, and we are junkies.

[30:50] And you don't only see that in the work arena. You don't only see that with out on the job. ladies, do you ever clean your house furiously, and give your kids a good talking to you before company comes over?

[31:05] Why do you do that? I mean, is it because you're trying to please man, or are you trying to please God? Or, ladies, you sign up for one more activity outside the home.

[31:18] You sign up for one more group trying to show everyone that you have it together, and that you're the ideal mom. all the while, you neglect your husband and your family, because you're trying to make yourself have a good reputation.

[31:34] And those seem like small things, don't they? You're just cleaning up. You're just working a little bit better. You're just signing up for one more activity, but those things reveal our hearts.

[31:47] They reveal why we're doing the things that we're doing. And why do we do the things that we do? Are we really concerned with what God thinks, or are we really concerned with what man thinks?

[31:57] We're more concerned about the smile of man than the smile of Jesus who died for us. Characteristic number eight. Characteristic number eight.

[32:09] The people pleaser uses the wisdom, abilities, and gifts that have been given him for God's glory and the benefit of others for his own glory and personal benefit.

[32:23] benefit. And that shouldn't surprise you. People pleasing is idolatry. And the idol must be served. Man, the people pleasing must be served.

[32:38] And so the people pleaser serves with everything he has. All of his resources. He uses all of his ministry opportunities, not to serve others, but to serve himself.

[32:49] himself. He uses all that makes himself look good. His reputation and all those things. He uses those things to serve himself.

[33:01] The Corinthians had people pleasing very bad. First Corinthians 4-7 says, For who makes you different than anyone else?

[33:13] What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did not receive it, why do you boast as though you did? The Corinthians were using their spiritual gifts and instead of using them for what they were meant to be used for in the church to build others up, they were using them to say, hey, look at me.

[33:33] I can speak in tongues. I can prophesy. I'm special and you should all be looking at me and loving me. They acted like they were responsible.

[33:45] They acted like they were different because of something that they did. And Paul said, you aren't responsible. You didn't give yourself these gifts. You've done nothing.

[33:57] Everything you have has been given to you. And it's God that gives you any gifts that make you stand out in any way. And so who are you trying to fool? It's not for you that those gifts were given.

[34:10] It was for others and for God. God. So the people pleaser uses the spiritual gifts to worship his idol. And the junkie will take all of his good gifts, everything that he has, and he'll twist them to use for his idol.

[34:28] So what am I talking about? What kind of things am I talking about? What kind does he use? He uses his personal wealth, his family heritage, his physical beauty, his Bible knowledge, his artistic ability, his verbal ability, his financial status, his managerial skill, his good reputation, his position in the community, his spiritual accomplishments.

[34:57] He'll take everything that he has received and he'll use them for himself. He receives it all from God's hands and he uses it to serve the idol.

[35:09] And so what do you do with your gifts? What do you do with your gifts in the church? What do you do with your spiritual gifts? Do you use those things to honor yourself or to build up others?

[35:20] To love or to feed your pride? Do you use your home to glorify God or do you use it as a status symbol to make yourself look good as a trophy to take pride in?

[35:36] What do you do with your reputation? Some of you have good reputations in the community. Are you so protective of it that you'll do anything to keep it safe even more than what you need to in order to glorify yourself?

[35:53] The people pleaser twists all of God's gifts into a means of honoring himself and making himself look good. That's characteristic number eight.

[36:05] Characteristic number nine. He invests more of his time, his money, his energy, his thought into his own reputation than into God's reputation.

[36:20] What kind of lawn does he have? He has the greenest and best. What kind of car does he have? He has the newest and coolest. What kind of house does he have? Well, it has to be the nicest on the block.

[36:31] And so, he spends his money, his time, his energy into building himself a kingdom to worship himself. And it's not just material things that the person will use to build himself a good reputation.

[36:47] He'll use his energies and his time to invest in people in the church, not in order to build them up, but so that they think well of him. And he does it for the wrong reason.

[36:59] He doesn't want to encourage people. He wants to take pride in what he can do. And so, I can work really hard on a sermon or on a lesson. And if I don't see people thanking me and saying, oh, good job, then I get discouraged because I'm working for the wrong reasons.

[37:19] But if I see people build up and I'm encouraged by that, then I know that I'm doing it for the Lord. So, you should pray for your pastors and your teachers. They are in positions of particular danger.

[37:32] We're sort of dangled out here for everyone to see, and it's really easy to take pride in our work and to be working for the wrong reasons and investing our resources into ourselves, into making ourselves look good, rather than glorifying God.

[37:49] And so, where your treasure is, that's where your heart will be also. If you invest in this world and you invest in your personal glory, you will have those things.

[38:01] People will look fondly upon you. You will have nice things. But all of your treasure will be destroyed. Moth and rust will destroy all of our efforts.

[38:11] And if we seek temporal glory, we'll have temporal glory and we'll lose eternal glory. And if we invest our hearts in the world, we'll have the whole world and we'll lose our own souls.

[38:24] Lastly, number 10, the approval junkie is never satisfied with his lot in life. He has things. He has a reputation and he has some accomplishments.

[38:40] He's not satisfied though. The idol is never full. The man isn't rich enough or powerful enough or influential enough to give him the status that the people pleaser wants.

[38:55] He needs more money to make himself look better. He needs more influence to make himself look better. And finally, the junkie can't be satisfied with anything and so he's discontent with everything.

[39:07] He's discontent with what he has, where he's at, the house he has, the amount of brain power he has. He's discontent with the influence he has. And you know, that's the way a junkie is.

[39:22] Usually we're talking about a drug addict, right? So they start with something smaller, milder, they use marijuana, and then that doesn't give them the high they want. And so they go to cocaine and then they're doing it once and twice.

[39:34] And then finally, they need it all the time. They're never satisfied. Well, it's the same way with the approval junkie. They get a taste of glory for themselves, and they never have enough glory after that.

[39:45] They always want more. So the result of this is he's discontent. If I was just smarter, if I was just more influential, more powerful, then people would like me more.

[39:57] If I had a better house, if I had a nicer house, then I would have what I need to be satisfied. The junkie is never content with where God has put him in his life. And when he sees others preferred and blessed before him, there's nothing but envy and jealousy and covetousness.

[40:19] He's enslaved to his idol, and so he's always miserable. His idol is always hungry, and he can't feed him enough. So those are the ten characteristics of a people-pleaser.

[40:32] Those are a lot. We could have said a lot more about all of them. And I'm sure that we could have said some things better, but I hope we've seen enough, seen enough of what a people-pleaser is.

[40:49] And we have met the enemy, and he is us, isn't he? the enemy is buried deep down within. It's the pride that motivates us.

[41:03] It's the very first shirt that we put on, right? When Adam and Eve sinned, it was because they weren't satisfied with what they wanted. They wanted to be like God. They wanted something that God only could have.

[41:17] And so it's the first shirt that we put on, and it's going to be the last shirt that we take off. This pride and this desire to be looked, to be esteemed by others, to have the pride of our life.

[41:31] And so we are going to need the Holy Spirit. If it's that close to us, if it infiltrates every part of us, then we're going to need the Holy Spirit to shine a light on our hearts so that we can see our sin, and so that by His power we can put it to death.

[41:50] So let's pray. Heavenly Father, we ask that You would take the words of this lesson and apply it to our hearts through the Holy Spirit.

[42:04] Father, these are just words of men and meaningless and useless unless the Holy Spirit owns it in our lives. So we pray, Holy Spirit, come, make us more like Jesus, show us the motivations of our heart, why we do the things that we do, and expose us to Your Word that we would deal with our sin biblically, that we would find grace in Jesus Christ.

[42:37] Will You make the gospel precious to us as we deal with the sin of people-pleasing, and will You make us more like Him? Father, help us to worship You in spirit and in truth in the coming hour, not for the eyes of others, but for Your eyes alone.

[42:55]  And we pray this in Jesus' name, Amen.